FREDERICK VAUGHN

FREDERICK VAUGHN is a poet and playwright living in Norwich, CT. His plays TEAL BLUE, SILENCE, BRIAN AND BRIAN, and THE PAY OFF have played Off Off
Broadway at Theatre Studio Inc. He wrote and starred in two soap operas on Manhattan Neighborhood Network, ROEBLING'S WORLD and THE NEXT TOMORROW. MNN has also aired some of his musicals, MUNICH, OY, THE BIG TIME, and WHO'S DELUDED NOW? In Connecticut, Vaughn is mostly known for writing skits for The Second Step Players in their fight against the stigma of being mentally ill (Photo from Frederick Vaughn).

Hercules Rewritten

by Frederick Vaughn

I told Hercules my epic poem

But he says that it's too preachy

And I write about Cupid

And Hercules was hurt that

I wrote about another god

And I make a sacrifice

But Hercules wasn't impressed

So I wrote a one-act play

For each of his twelve labors

But Hercules didn't care for my style

So I thoughtFuck Hercules

If he doesn't like my epic

There are other heroes around

But twelve labors

That's good enough for a comic book

MIDDLE NAME

His middle name is Hussein
That will hurt him
My middle name is Emory
Will that hurt me

When he was six
Some say he went to a Muslim school
When I was six
I went to Kindergarten
I hated nap time
But I loved cookies and punch

When I listen to the news
I think
God, these people are stupid
But they sell me Viagra

But not enough Viagra
The company just laid off several employees
I wonder what the CEO's middle name is

by Frederick Vaughn

THE SAXOPHONE SONG


I walk down the street in New York
There I see a black man with a saxophone
But he isn't playing his saxophone
He is surrounded by seven cops
A black lady cop tells him
That he can't play his saxophone
He doesn't have a license
"Do you have a lincense?
Because you can't play your saxophone without a license
You don't have a license do you?
Now you can't play your saxophone
You have no license"

And I saw the black man
And the seven cops
And I thought
"Why does it take seven cops to stop one black man
From playing his saxophone?
Are they afraid of what song he plays?"
I bet it would have been The Theme from The Godfather
Or maybe New York, New York
Maybe he was going to spend the quarters
He would have made in tips
And buy subversive literature
Or a Doris Day CD

Seven cops
I bet if he was robbed
He couldn't find one

by Frederick Vaughn