Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #14)

THE HOBO HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK

 By Daniel Canada c.2010

                                                                     

 

 

 

THE POWER OF THE PRESS (Continued)

It’s amazing the number of conventions the common newspaper can serve. So, let’s just get right into it, shall we? When using the restrooms, you can cover the floor, if some klutz before you left urine tracts behind to mark his or her territory. It can also serve as a handy door jam, for public restrooms that lack a latch, in order to secure your privacy.

Moving to the great outdoors. When sleeping on the hard earth or floor, newspapers can be applied onto the ground to protect you from, not only the cold, but from infectious dirt as well. But I'm certain you want to make sure you choose a clean spot to lay down from the beginning. 

Remember, anything else is considered “Skeksy.”

I could go on and on with this, but feel you’ve got the point already. So make sure to save up on your newspapers and store them away. They can really salvage you in times of need. Besides, carrying them around makes you look smart.

Another item held in high regard on the street is plastic shopping bags. They can prove to be a lifesaver, and many a homeless person does swears by them, including myself. You would be simply amused...amazed...at all the utilitarian functions the ordinary plastic bag can serve.

 

PLASTIC SHOPPING BAGS

 

Have you ever notice lately that almost all of the homeless people are walking around with Duane Reade shopping bags?

Strange isn’t it?

Well, if they’re not carrying a Duane Reade shopping bag, they’re carrying some other kind, but shopping bags it is! It seems to be the au courant homeless thing to do now-a-days.

 

(To be continued...)