tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40715607187435775492024-03-14T01:56:37.287-07:00Times Square Shout OutObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.comBlogger69125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-70715961076347738502013-11-08T06:25:00.001-08:002013-11-08T06:25:15.021-08:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #39)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">THE HOBO
HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK </span></b></b></div>
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<b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010</span></span></b> </span></b></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">CHAPTER
THREE</span></b></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">PERSONALITIES
OF THE HOMELESS</span></u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"> (Continued)</span><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><br /></span></u></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> THE FLY</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">. He's chic! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He's fashionably correct! He's cut
out straight from the 70's Blaxploitation movies! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">You can see the presence of “The Fly," if
you were unfortunate enough to have to hit one of them soup lines in New York
City's mid-town areas. I see him all the time and, I tell you, he's one hell
of a character. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">A cerulean French artist tam is placed askance
upon his head. He's got Elton John size shades and he walks like Super fly
did way back in the days. He's cool, man, and if you can't dig him, then
you need to get with the program, because you're obviously the one that's been
sleeping in a cave, Daddy O. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">No, but seriously. “The Fly” is a little bit
more than meets the eye. I observed that he seemed to have some kind of
mysterious past. Something he must be hiding from the rest of us, because
he didn't quite conduct himself like the common, run-of-the-mill homeless and
"Skeksys."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">But just what could it be? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">And then I found out! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Well, one day I happened to be standing on one
of my usual evening soup lines, hiding my face behind the back of my hand from
anyone who might’ve passed by and might’ve known me from the by-gone era, when
I was gainfully employed and teetering on the precipice of the top of the
world. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">And there was “The Fly!” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He was doing his usual thing, talking to a few of
the cliques he was accustomed to hanging around. All of a sudden, two, impeccably
dressed, Wall Street business men came up to him with looks of astonishment pasted
on their faces. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">"Is that really you? I can't believe
this. I have all of your albums, man!" The first guy says, then
looks over at his friend with unalloyed disbelief. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun;">"Yeah, man. I have a collection of your albums too, and have been
digging you for a long time," the other one says reverently, all the while
gawking at “The Fly” as if he was standing before the presence of Siddhartha Gautama.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun;">The two look at each other and then back over to “The Fly.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun;">"Man, what are you doing out here? Is everything alright?" The
expressions on their faces are sincere and genuinely confused. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun;">"Well, you know...I just fell on some hard times, is all. Got
caught out with some habits of mine, but I'll be alright." “The Fly”
confesses, trying to make like it ain't all that big of a deal. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">A few hushed conversations ensue, the two men
reach in their wallets to offer him a couple of bucks that looks like
twenty-spots. “The Fly” vehemently refuses the cash, assuring them that
he's A-OK and just going through a little phase, and will be back on his feet
soon, doing his jazz music thing again. The two fans walk off with
respectful salutations. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">So, that's it. The Fly’s a famous jazz
musician! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">And apparently he's one of note. I kind of
thought he looked familiar. Thought I saw him blowing a horn next to Max
Roach, or Coltrane, or something, upon the stage in Avery Fisher Hall in on one
of those vintage PBS tributaries to the arts. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Problem is, I saw “The Fly” about a week or so
later and he was looking pretty run down. He'd been "on a
mission" with booze and drugs and had the appearance of a man who was
truly down and out. He looked as if he was on the ropes and Mike Tyson had
caught him with one too many gratuitous shots.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“The Fly” never left the streets. At least
he was still out there the last time I saw him. Battling the demon of substance
abuse can be a Bitch. And not a few talented musicians and artists got caught
out on the streets, because they couldn't slay the dragon of "get
high" in their life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">If you happened to be pummeled by the
"slings and arrows" of outrageous misfortune and the monkey on your
back gets to be a bit too much, and starts acting a little out of pocket, a
little "get high" can help to alleviate the pressure. However,
one has to take great pains to make sure they don't get pulled under by the
current of sex, drugs, and, in The Fly's case, Jazz (which, incidentally
originally stood for "Just Ass"). I think you know where I’m going
with this. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">You want to get high, get high. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">You want to get your drink on, go ahead and get
your drink on.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Nevertheless, save a few shekels for a rainy
day, as I've been saying throughout the entire memoir, so you don't wind up
like “The Fly.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">If not you might find yourself going from
playing Carnegie Hall to playing for a handful of tossed and niggardly coins on
the platform of the subway’s Number Six Train. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">And that would be a low down, dirty, crying,
stinking, shame.</span></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-83278814932986328452013-11-06T14:39:00.000-08:002013-11-06T14:39:06.022-08:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #38)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">THE HOBO
HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK </span></b></b></div>
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<b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010</span></span></b> </span></b></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><br /><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i></span></div>
CHAPTER
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">PERSONALITIES
OF THE HOMELESS</span></u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"> (Continues)</span><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><br /></span></u></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">TIGER LADY</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> is not like Tony the Tiger from your favorite
frosted flakes commercial. She's more like Tanya the Tiger from hell,
visiting you at your local Starbucks coffee dive. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">You got to see this lady! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She wears skin-tight tiger design pants. I can
only imagine how she actually got them on. “Tiger Lady” likes to struts
her stuff. Well, it's not like she couldn't use a few pounds. What is more, her
mug does leaves a lot to be desired. Nevertheless, that doesn't discourage her
from prancing about in her skin-tight, tiger design, pants to the morning soup
lines, at the Franciscan Friars. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She always skips the line of tired, hungry, and
grumpy "Skeksies," who've been irascibly waiting all morning long to
cop a bag of breakfast. She's got it like that. Or as least she thinks she
does. You'll see her strutting up to the front of the line, with a super-sized
cup of Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks coffee in hand, greeting "Skeksys"
aloud as she passes by, like a politician hankering for votes before election
night. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Tiger Lady's a riot! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">When she talks, she's always loud and
boisterous. I figure when you look like “Tiger Lady,” you better be loud,
if you want to get noticed. Otherwise, nobody's going to take the extra
effort to make you out, baby. But Tiger Lady's got the attention market
cornered. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She's a pro. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">However, like Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, she
turns into an outright bitch after midnight. Maybe it's the
moon. Maybe its hormones raging. I don't know, but if you happen to
come across “Tiger Lady” sitting in the Penn Station Starbucks after nightfall,
stay the hell away from her! She'll verbally rip you from rim to limb,
boy-O, if you catch her sight the wrong way. She also doesn't have a
problem using ethnically incorrect verbiage. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Yeah, “Tiger Lady” will rant and rave, frothing
at the mouth until she tires herself out, and have to pause to recharge her over
drained mental batteries. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Whew! What a much needed break for all of us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Strange thing about this story is she didn't exactly
start out that way. When I first ran into “Tiger Lady” she was the nicest,
sweetest, pleasantly greeting, tight-pants, wearing, wanna be-Hoochey-Mama, in
town; which was quite likeable, to be honest. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The shit time in the streets can do to person
is phenomenal. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">One thing I failed to mention is that “Tiger
Lady” doesn't get much sleep. All the time invested in Starbucks and
Dunkin donuts, draining down hazardous levels of caffeine, and at the
morning soup lines, doesn't leave much time for precious sleep. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">No wonder she's a basket case. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Furthermore this goes for a lot of homeless
people. Who might see the likes of them roaming the width a breath of the city
way after darkness has descended upon the town, as if they were Ponce De Leon,
on a quest to find the fountain of youth in some abandoned alleyway.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">You see, on the street sleep is golden. Like
with food, without it you're not going to make it very far. I've provided
ideas about what you can do in regards to sleep, and it behooves you to
utilize it, if you're out here. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Drinking coffee's fine, but make sure you cop
some zee's along the way, anyway you can, or you might find yourself actually
being able to understand the gobble-de-gook Tiger Lady's spewing in her daily
rantings. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">And that won't be a good thing, my precious.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">(To be continued...)</span></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-22159163456983861422013-11-05T05:47:00.000-08:002013-11-05T05:47:09.634-08:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #37)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">THE HOBO
HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK </span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">CHAPTER
THREE</span></b></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">PERSONALITIES
OF THE HOMELESS </span></u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">(Continued)</span><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><br /></span></u></div>
<br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: large;"><b>BUZZARD</b> is a complete conundrum. Ever see a nature show on television,
and the camera pans slowly toward a buzzard, in the wild? You see the
buzzard, perched precariously upon a tree bra<span class="text_exposed_show">nch, starring off at nothing, his neck doing that funny buzzard thing every so often. That's “Buzzard!”<br /> <br />
O.k., his neck doesn't do that funny buzzard thing, but “Buzzard” sits
around, perched on a park bench, starring off into nowhere and nothing.
All day long. <br /> <br /> All…day…long. <br /> <br /> It takes one a long
time to master the Zen art of motionlessness and nothingness. This, the
art of motionlessness and nothingness, to be sure, is quite an
accomplishment, if you consider it. “Buzzard” is a master of the two. <br /> <br /> You see what you can accomplish, if you only had the extra time on your hands? <br /> <br />
If you frequent the right parks during the day, you can see “Buzzard”
practicing his skill, sitting motionlessly and doing nothing at all,
starring off into the vastness of the void forever. <br /> <br /> I don't
know, but perhaps he's had a prefrontal lobotomy already, and there's
simply nothing there to work with, or even to bother contemplating. This
fickle reasoning would've been the doom of me, if I didn't happen to
stumble upon “Buzzard,” one day and catch him mob deep, reading several
highly technical books. <br /> <br /> This is how it went down. <br /> <br /> I
needed to get out of the cold one day and perhaps catch up on the
latest publications available in the Seventeenth Street Barnes and
Nobles. As I arrived upstairs, the busy milling throngs of shoppers
parted to reveal the lone figure of “Buzzard.” There he was, sitting
quietly at a table, with a scary looking stack of technical books in
front of him. “Buzzard” could care a less about the world swarming
around him. He was in his secret element. <br /> <br /> So, Buzzard's a techy! <br /> <br /> Wow! <br /> <br /> But, but, wait! There's more! <br /> <br />
I also have to confess that I do spend a good deal of time in
Starbucks, draining down dangerous levels of caffeine and plotting the
takeover of the world, myself. Nevertheless, there I was entering into
another Starbucks on Astor Place, in the Lower East-side. And Lo! And
behold! There's “Buzzard,” sitting attentively at the table with several
electronic gadgets before him. <br /> <br /> There were Ipods and android
cell phones, Blackberries, tablets and the like. A web of power cords
crisscrossed the table in front of him, plugged into the power sockets,
provided for customers with laptops or electronic equipment. Of course,
once again, “Buzzard” didn't see me. He was busy doing his thing, safely
ensconced in electronic heaven. <br /> <br /> It was then that I had a terrible epiphany. <br /> <br />
“Buzzard” wasn't an idiot after all. To the contrary, he might even be a
silent genius. You can never tell what's going on inside the head of a
quiet genius. For all I know, “Buzzard” could've been quietly working on
the solution to the Grand Unification Theory, the holy grail of
theoretical physics, or working on the solution to global warming,
re-mapping the entire DNA, or unraveling the Kennedy murders. <br /> <br /> How can you tell? <br /> <br />
All those motionless hour spent starring off into nowhere, could have
been Buzzard's way of falling deep into that brilliant mind of his,
reaching far-off inside for the elusive answers to these perplexing, but
important questions. <br /> <br /> You got M.I.T. brains? Go to M.I.T. <br /> <br />
Do something construction with your life, for God's sake! You might be
the next Stephen Hawkings, or Gandhi, for all that matters. The world
needs more of these types. However, if you have a serious drug problem
and just lost your natural mind, after taking that last great hit off
the crack pipe, public assistance isn't worth a dam, but they do offer a
comprehensive Medicaid program. And guess what? They have competent
doctors who can help you along with recovery from severe substance
abuse, as well. <br /> <br /> If I catch you homeless and out in the
streets, sitting idly on a bench or milk crate, starring off into space,
you better whip out some electronic equipment and make like you're
“Buzzard.” <br /> <br /> If not, well, not only are you just wasting your life, but I also will refuse to write a piece about you, in my memoirs. <br /> <br /> How's that for size?<br /> <br /> (To be continued...)</span></span></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"><br /> </span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"><br /> </span></span>ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-72632489815547254402013-10-31T18:00:00.001-07:002013-10-31T18:00:15.975-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #36)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
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</span></span></b></span></b></b><br />
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<b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">THE HOBO
HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK </span></b></span></span></b></span></b></b></div>
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">
By Daniel Canada c.2010</span></span></b> </span></b></div>
<b>
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<b>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><br /><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i></span></div>
</b>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">CHAPTER
THREE</span></b></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">PERSONALITIES
OF THE HOMELESS</span></u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">(continued)</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">CHRIS TUCKER</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> is a strange motherfucker. You can hear his
high-pitched voice rising over the crowded den of "Skeksies," at the
Bowery Mission church almost every dog-gone day. He likes to hang out at
this haunt for some reason that's his own. Of course, you can guess the
reason I call Chris Tucker, "Chris Tucker" is because he not only
looks like the actor, Chris Tucker, but even sounds like him when he's speaking. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Can you believe that? </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He's a natural comedian and doesn't even know
it. And I’m not going to let him on to the secret either. That way I
won't have to lose him to the greedy clutches of the producers and directors of
Hollywood.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Yeah right.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“Chris Tucker” likes to walk around with a huge,
wooden, hand-carved staff in his hand, like a displaced Moses, looking for the lost
tribes of "Skeksies." Perhaps he wants to deliver us to the
"Promised Land" of an SRO. I don't even want to try to figure
out what's the deal with that damn staff and why he really carries it around. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“Chris Tucker” also likes to keep his afro large, and
70s looking. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The brother likes to keep it real. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">During the fall and winter months he could be seen
donning a long, full-length, leather coat like Shaft, a recipient of the Coat
Drive for the homeless, held every winter throughout New York City. I have to
admit, for a homeless guy he does have class.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Sometimes at the Bowery Mission he gets caught up in
the holy spirit of his own origin, and started arguing with himself and moralizing
out loud about the philosophies of life, and the injustices of society. He
always has a slight chip on his shoulders, and easily gives way to venting
vituperations at the soup kitchen. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">You see, in the soup kitchen you're stuck, because you’re
hungry and have to go there to get some grub. You can't exactly afford to
leave, simply because someone next to you suddenly has an epiphany and wants to
share it with everyone. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">There's no escape, my friend. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">One day I was leaving Starbucks on Astor Place and accidently
ran into "Chris Tucker." He was standing at the entrance of the Number
Six subway station, and greeting the crowds of commuters with the most
boisterous pronouncements of judgment and condemnation heard since Abraham
Lincoln castigated the White Southerners for the institution of slavery. Funny
thing was he didn't have his usual “Chris Tucker” voice this time around. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Hhhhmmm! </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">What startled me was that he sounded more like Mr. T. Perhaps
his “Chris Tucker” voice had gotten tired, or maybe it was being reserved only for
the company of the homeless and “Skeks" at the Bowery Mission church. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I’ll never know. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“Chris Tucker” could probably land a decent gig as a
performer, if he ever thought of pursuing it as a career. He could either fill
in for the real Chris Tucker on a movie set, if he'd only cut his enormous afro.
Somehow I don’t think he’s ever going to pursue an acting career or anything worth
writing about, other than what I have already taken the pains to apply my pen
to.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">So, listen up folks!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">If you have enough guts to stand in front of a
rush-hour crowd of tired commuters and show your ass, chances are you have
enough gonads, or mammary glands, to go out and audition for a big gig on the real
stage or big screen. Some people just don't know what they have, and that's a
crying shame. Fifteen minutes of fame, or infamy, in front of a rush-hour mob,
who more than likely really don't give a hoot in hell what you have to say, is
not the path to The Emerald City, Tin Man. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">What is more, it is certainly not the road to becoming
a well-known and nationally celebrated motivational speaker.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It might be the fastest route to landing you in the psyche
ward at Bellevue Hospital.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Or Creedmoor.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Or worst.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">(To be continued...) </span></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-92060963427111391462013-10-29T19:21:00.002-07:002013-10-29T19:21:48.574-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #35)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">THE HOBO
HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK </span></b></b></div>
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<b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">CHAPTER
THREE</span></b></div>
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</span></b></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">PERSONALITIES
OF THE HOMELESS</span></u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"> (Continued)</span><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><br /></span></u></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">EDDIE GRIFFIN’S</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> name actually came about by mistake. I was
trying to name him after the lead singer for the Temptations, David Ruffin, but
forgot David Ruffin's name, so I named him “Eddie Griffin” instead. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Yeah, that's how way off the mark I was. And
you’re probably saying, so what’s this got to do with the price of tea in Tibet?
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">You’re absolutely right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The point is I had to come up with a name for
this character, who happened to always popped up on any given soup line I
frequented. He ain't no way as handsome as the former lead singer of The Temptation,
neither can he sing a lick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's just
that his voice is rough and a bit scraggly, like David Ruffin's. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">That's all. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I know I’m stretching it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Look here! I have to give these "Skeks"
names, so sometimes I toss a moniker at them that might require a little
explanation. Anyway, “Eddie Griffin” loves to diddly-bop around with a faded
and not so clean dude-rag on his dome. He kind of has a menacing, bad-assed,
look pasted on his face all the time. Perhaps it helped him get through a few tough
jail stretches. Other than that “Eddie Griffin” is a complete loser. He's
always getting into somebody else's business, with feigned authority, like he's
in charge, or someone died and made him boss.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Eddie Griffin's always trying to get over on
somebody as well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The brother's incorrigible. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Sometimes I go for a refreshing while without
seeing him, so I figure he might've been doing a quick jail bid for some new
violation of his parole. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Whatever. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">But for certainty, after a while Eddie Griffin's
back like a rash, skipping in front of soup kitchen lines like he's
"Skek" royalty, cutting deals with other "Skeksies" for a
couple of dollars and generally bullying a few of the timid homeless folks. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">You see, Eddie Griffin's an older guy. He's
about in his late fifties, or so. He ain't no spring chicken, or rooster for
that matter. But Eddie Griffin's got to cut his piece of the pie out for himself
on the street. And he has. When he comes around all the "Skeks" that
are shamming know him right away, and make their way over to him to pay
respect. Maybe I need to start learning and give old Eddie his props, before I
find out the hard way. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I mean, I would hate for him to take away my
sandwich and coffee for not discerning what time it really is. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">O.k. So I’m going to hurry up and get this part
over with, if it's alright with you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
father always said, if you see a big, bad, mother fucker, there's always
another bigger and badder mother fucker than he, who’s got the right antidote
for him. Eddie Griffin's an old mother fucker, who doesn't realize his time out
in the street is close to being over and done. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It's time to start thinking of a retirement,
plan, Eddie, and since you never worked a decent job a day in your life, or
have a 401K plan safely tucked away, there ain't no retirement plan out here
for you, beside the one six feet under the ground, chump. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Moral of the story. If you come out in the
street, just because you're trying to pull one over on the world-and
fortunately, that doesn't apply to the majority of homeless people-you're going
to run into the resilient wall of a rude awakening one day, when you discover
that you’re too damn old to extract yourself out of this mess. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">If you got a hustle, put a few pennies away for
the rainy day, partner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Newsflash! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">There are no story book retirement plans out
here on the streets. No pension plan or Roth IRAs going to fall into your lap. Open
your third-eye and see yourself out of this confusion. Make some kind of plan,
like linking up with a decent shelter system-which is hard to find-or get some
public assistance (which also is very unreliable), and work your way to landing
a SRO or small apartment. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">That failing-which wouldn't be surprising-GET A
FRIGGIN JOB! Or use your hustle money to procure a roof over your head, no
matter how small or modest it might be. That way when it gets cold and the
arthritis starts setting in, along with the gout, and the diabetes-you can see
where I’m going with this, can’t you?-your tired, old, worn out and rusty, ass
won't have to worry, at the last minute, what the hell you're going to do. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Hurry “Eddie Griffin!” It's time to gets to
stepping. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The hourglass is trickling thin.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">(To be continued...)</span></span></div>
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<br />ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-73983696582861039692013-10-25T12:41:00.000-07:002013-10-25T12:41:00.782-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #34)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 12pt 0.5in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><b>THE HOBO
HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK </b></span></span></div>
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</span>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">CHAPTER
THREE</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">PERSONALITIES
OF THE HOMELESS</span></u></span></div>
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</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>ENTREPRENEUR</b> There isn't anything wrong with trying to make
a buck or two, when you're out here on your ass. Some homeless people
turn to stealing. Those who have a little more ethics simply
panhandle. Some hustle, while others turn to more nefarious means to
obtain those dead presidents. Entrepreneur’s one of those hustlers who
just doesn't quit and never misses a trick, when it comes to trying to make a few
greenbacks.</span></span> </div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Check this out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It's the day before Veteran's Day, 2007. And
I'm standing on the soup line, listening to the ratings of “Entrepreneur.” He's
telling everybody about how much cash he's going to rake in, selling a bunch of
miniature hand-held flags in which he obtained for free, at the upcoming parade.
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">"Don't you all see the dollar signs, in my
eyes?" he asked anyone who would listen, as he bats his eyes repeatedly,
imitating a cash register ringing up its till. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“Uh…No. I don't get it, dude,” is our reply, as
we shuffle along on line.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“Entrepreneur” likes to babble on and on about
various money-making schemes, hatched from the nebulous regions of his fertile
mind. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">No, I’m not hating on the brother!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It's just that sometimes it gets to be a bit
much. He just never relinquishes talking! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun;">As a follow-up on Entrepreneur’s grand design to make a killing at the
Veteran's Day Parade; due to the current state of war in Iraq and Afghanistan
at the time, the powers-to-be decided to scrap the yearly Veteran's Day Parade,
which was usually held before the screaming throngs of tens of thousands of New
Yorkers, down Fifth Avenue. Instead, they held little mini-parades, scattered
discreetly across the five boroughs. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">For me that was not a problem. I proceeded
to do what I normally do on any giving day. Nothing in particular. As
for “Entrepreneur,” well, needless to say, the "Skek" was
devastated. Not surprisingly, he was the most quiet one on the soup line
the next day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">On the downside, sometimes “Entrepreneur” can
be seen noiselessly, standing by himself, engaged in a vigorous and
unheard conversation in his head. I mean, even though you can see his head moving
animatedly as if he was heavily engaged in dialogue, his mouth remains completely
shut. He's trying to get some whimsical words out, and to tell us more about
those remarkable, money-making, ideas swimming around in his mind. But somehow he
can't seem to cut the mustard, and get the words out. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Needless to say, I wasn’t complaining. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">In short, I think he took his meds that
day. Whatever medication he's on was too powerful to bother fighting
against. Frankly, I don't know if I like him better when he takes his meds
or when he's off them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The moral of this story is, if you got hot ideas
in your head, just do it! Talking to a bunch of homeless person, or “Skeksies,"
hanging out on a chow line, about it ain’t going to accomplish a goddamned
thing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Except earn you the reputation of being a
bullshit talking, hate to see you walking, mother…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Well, I’m sure you know the rest.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><b>(To be continued...)</b></span><br />
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-61450194426152425612013-10-25T12:34:00.002-07:002013-10-25T12:37:26.780-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #33)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 12pt 0.5in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><b>THE HOBO
HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010 </span></span></span></div>
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<b>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">CHAPTER </span>THREE</b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><u>PERSONALITIES
OF THE HOMELESS</u> (Continued)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>INSPECTOR GADGET</b> Duh duh duh duh duh duh...Well, you know how
the rest of the tune goes. Yeah, I’m talking about the tune to the 90’s cartoon
"Inspector Gadget." If you'll recall the trench coat Inspector Gadget
wore, you'll have a pretty close idea of what the homeless guy I call
“Inspector Gadget” looks like. “Inspector Gadget” has developed the
particular predilection of storing his personal items in the confines of his
trench coat. So much so, that his trench coat is exceedingly bloated to
ridiculous proportions. There are pockets protruding out of his sides like
mini-shopping bags on all sides.</span></span> </span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It's truly a sight to see, I tell you. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“Inspector Gadget” doesn't like to be around
people and crowds too tough. And, unfortunately, the feeling is mutual. Call
it agoraphobia or lack of self-esteem, masked in too much bravado, “Inspector
Gadget” has it. Somehow he comes off as if he feels he’s above everyone and it
all, and brags out loud about how important his father is, that his father
is some kind of important diplomat, or something. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Like Brad Pitt in
the movie "The Twelve Monkeys?" Huh?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Look, it's hard enough trying to get by,
from day-to-day, out here in the concrete jungle. Don't complicate
your life, like “Inspector Gadget,” by clasping on needlessly to numerous possessions. Remember,
you don't own a goddamn thing out here, save your ass, buddy. So travel
lightly, and carry as little as is needed. It's very easy to fall into the snare
of stuffing your pockets and carry-along-bags with a bunch of needless
accessories, like poor ole "Inspector Gadget." <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">And if your father’s a rich and important
figure, call him and have him send you a few bucks. No! Believe it or not, the
reason I mention this, is because I actually ran into some homeless individuals
who come from wealthy families, whose parents have quite a lot of money, in
whom they call once and a while to have a few shekels sent to them via Money
Gram, and what not. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">They had a big fall out with their family and
decided to kick it hardcore to the curb and come out here into the tangled
wilderness of the streets with the rest of us humps. If you fit this bill,
straighten your shit out with your overbearing relatives and get the hell of
the street ASAP.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Otherwise, heed this piece of advice: While
you're out here, keep a light heart about yourself. Take life one day at a
time, like an aspirin.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It'll go a long ways.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><b>(To be continued...)</b></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUwOukf0020qphgeM2Hm-KiyUkoOLx_S94p4K-G-SMWp1QTlT8Gli2S415S2yce-XWHBzY5eUCUYgYJUZoUBevytGpCWipF2AgOAKob32n_B9UctdkZ5Zk1sBDGFe0mJ3msRO_vuhYT7Q/s1600/Inspector+Gadget.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUwOukf0020qphgeM2Hm-KiyUkoOLx_S94p4K-G-SMWp1QTlT8Gli2S415S2yce-XWHBzY5eUCUYgYJUZoUBevytGpCWipF2AgOAKob32n_B9UctdkZ5Zk1sBDGFe0mJ3msRO_vuhYT7Q/s320/Inspector+Gadget.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-83687338193097222262013-10-19T13:16:00.000-07:002013-10-19T13:16:32.816-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #32)<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><b>HE HOBO
HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">
</span>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010 </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">CHAPTER
THREE</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><u>PERSONALITIES
OF THE HOMELESS</u> (Continued)</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><b>COAT AND THE COAT SISTERS</b></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> It's summer time! It’s August!
The heat wave is on with a vengeance, and the temperature's skyrocketed
above 100 degrees! And guess what? There's homeless people walking
around in full-length, wool, winter coats, some of them two coat's deep. This
incredible scene may be mistaken for the filming of a movie with extras, but
it's not. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">If you happen to run across this scenario,
chances are you've seen “Coat” or “The Coat Sisters,” if not, some other
certifiable lunatic of their ilk.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b>It's
rather obvious why I gave them such names, but you just got to see this for
yourself. During the summer of 2008, at the peak of the season, when it was
sweltering hot, I happened to stop by a crowd of tourist and passersby, who
were being entertained by one of the many live performers you’ll encounter
along the New York City streets.</span> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">That's when I spotted "Coat."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By the way, "Coat" is a male. There
he was, checking out the scene, with his over-sized, wool, coat partially opened,
fanning himself with a magazine! Was he trying to air out his body or what?
What puzzled the Be Jesus out of me is why can't he just take his doggone
coat off, if he's so damned hot? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I can only shake my head. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">As it turns out, I had a psychologist girlfriend,
who was trying to convince me that schizophrenic people reach a point
where they can no longer feel changes in temperature. So, they'll walk around
in the dead of winter with very little clothing on, or in desert heat
with...well, a coat or two wrapped around their bodies. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Perhaps my
psychologist ex-girlfriend was right and I’m just in denial. I just have the
dickens of a time wrapping my brain around the theory. Don't know
why, maybe because at the time I was homeless and didn't want to wind up being
like “Coat?” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Perhaps.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Then there are the “Coat Sisters.” Two older,
black women, who are seemingly joined at the hip. They can be readily seen
in Bryant Park, every day in fact, sitting down, quietly shooting the breeze
together. They’re probably rambling about what used to be the latest hot
gossip in their former neighborhood, before they got turned out into the
streets. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Like, “Honey child, did you hear who Sadie’s ex-boyfriend
was found sleeping in the bed with last summer?” Or they could be discussing
stock market quotes and the latest savvy guidelines on which derivatives to
purchase. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I’ll never know. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Point of the matter is, they are completely
harmless and always mind their own. It's just the abundant coats that get
to me. What I'm trying to fathom is how they could just sit there,
seemingly as comfortable as two cockroaches in a bowl of cheerios, oblivious to
all that oppressive summer heat. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">And with two layers of heavy wool coats!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">In the middle of August. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Without complaining!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Yeah. My psychologist ex-girlfriend was right
after all, and I am simply in denial. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">If you've over stayed your welcome in the
streets and you begin to lose touch with the changes in climate, that's a good
indication that you might be falling into your head. Call it schizophrenia
or whatever you want to, you too will be wearing two or three coats very soon.
Yep friends, it can get that bad.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">So wise up forthwith, and keep a constant vigil
on your clothing. Perhaps, one day wearing several coats at a time might become
the new Prada, and you’ll be in the vanguard of fashion.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">You think?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">(<b>To be continued...</b>)</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj15QoFL8VsYeBsC_DD5M_T3jB1PBZ9frnJh1r4cuwm2ZxvqvQNP-xvcbLYMsrtzd5P3wCcglT4Mm8WKGHUKYqQazHEmfNCizuAAGCv7vL-kONKXRfdNk1w7K4A_GfGzwKblD2kmrQJDK8/s1600/Fur+Coat.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj15QoFL8VsYeBsC_DD5M_T3jB1PBZ9frnJh1r4cuwm2ZxvqvQNP-xvcbLYMsrtzd5P3wCcglT4Mm8WKGHUKYqQazHEmfNCizuAAGCv7vL-kONKXRfdNk1w7K4A_GfGzwKblD2kmrQJDK8/s320/Fur+Coat.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-7315749201580047002013-10-17T10:58:00.002-07:002013-10-17T10:58:48.420-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #31)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 12pt 0.5in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><strong>THE HOBO HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK <o:p></o:p></strong></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010 <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><o:p><strong> </strong></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><o:p><strong> </strong></o:p></span></div>
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<strong><span style="font-size: small;">CHAPTER THREE<o:p></o:p></span></strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><u>PERSONALITIES OF THE HOMELESS</u> (Continued)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">YODA</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> Before I go any further, I just want to state that I lived a double-life. One half of me was a homeless guy, trying to do his best out here in these mean streets, writing this memoir, and everything. The other half yearned to be a Jedi Master.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, a Jedi. Well O.k... I'll settle for being an apprentice, if there are no more Jedi slots available. I’m glad I finally got that confession out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Believe it or not, I already met The Master. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">His name is "Yoda." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Of course it isn’t the real Yoda, from the movie “Star Wars.” Remember, this is my memoirs of my time spent on the street. So it has to be a homeless guy, for Pete’s sake. Nevertheless, “Yoda” is a real Jedi that keeps reminding me that no matter how strong I think I am, and no matter how much adversity I endure, I can never withstand what he can. I can’t even hold a candle up to him. I could never make it through all the crap he undergoes, in which life throws at him just for shits and giggles, every dog-gone day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">For starters, the winter of 2007 was just outright brutal, with wind-chill factors dropping the temperature below zero degrees. I still get the chills just thinking about it! Anyway, I was pretty well wrapped-up like an Eskimo when I happened to be briskly walking down Park Avenue and Forty-First Street, on my way to the warmth and safety of Grand Central Terminal. And low and behold! There was "Yoda," clothed in nothing but a mere rag of a thin shirt and a pair of worn-out pants, which were falling half-way down his legs and exposing his bare ass. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">However there he was, lying on the cold pavement atop a vent, braving the kind of freezing weather that sent many to the hospital and claimed four homeless lives that winter. That's why he's the Jedi Master Yoda. Don’t you see? He has supernatural powers and the force is strong with that One. He's been witnessed in the down pouring rain, just the same. No rain, nor snow, nor exhaustive heat' is going drive "Yoda" away. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">"Yoda" doesn't panhandle. I don't think he speaks our-that is the human race-language. In fact, I never heard him speak at all. However, "Yoda" can readily be seen eating a good hot meal and washing it down with a soda, or steamy hot cup of coffee, every day. He's got connections I can't even begin to fathom. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Let’s just say he’s good like that. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">As I said earlier, I'm just a little-wannabe-Jedi apprentice when compared to the remarkable likeness of "Yoda."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Ah yes! Moral of the story time. The moral of this story is there is no moral of this story. Some people are just better cut out for survival than the rest of us poor humps. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">And that's simply the God’s honest truth, chump.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><strong>(To be continued...)</strong><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-16908280950765830892013-10-15T19:00:00.001-07:002013-10-15T19:00:04.449-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #30)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">THE HOBO
HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK </span></b></b></div>
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<b><b><b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010 </span><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"> </span></b></b></b></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"> CHAPTER
THREE</span></b></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">PERSONALITIES
OF THE HOMELESS </span></u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">(Continued)</span><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><br /></span></u></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">STINKY</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> Now, some conditions just plum don’t have to
exist. The fact that they do only serves to underscore the apathy, and utter
lack of competence on the part of bureaucratic government institutions in their
care of the mentally ill. Such is the case with "Stinky." Quite
simply, her name is "Stinky" because she stinks from here to high
heaven. Trust me, you don’t want to smell her.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Of course, she didn't start out this way. When
she first was turned out and onto the streets, she parked herself on the side
of the New York Public Library, set up a few boxes and just went
hardcore. "Stinky" has not moved from that location since the
time of my writing this memoir. You know that you've walked past her because
you're immediately assailed with a most indescribable odor. Keeping your
distance is for your personal protection. Well, "Stinky" hasn't taken
a shower in a month of days. She hasn't changed her clothing either, which have
turned into virtual rags. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">However, there is hope! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">"Stinky" can be readily seen with a
book, reading to her poor heart's content. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She
never panhandles, or bothers any passersby,
but is always seen eating a fresh plastic container of hot food and
drinking an
occasional coffee. Ok, so she talks to herself, but wouldn't you if you
were
"Stinky," and had no one else to dialogue with? The art of being
odoriferous leads to being quite alone, as I have warned you about
earlier in the
memoir. But "Stinky" seems not to mind and is making due the best she
can. You know, if you start hearing voices when no one's around, or you
start seeing
Jesus Christ, or Buddha, for that matter, go seek medical attention. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">No seriously. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">If you don't, there's a good chance
you might find yourself sitting in your own cardboard box, alongside
"Stinky," reading a paperback novel…upside down. The world can be a
cruel place to do a seventy or eighty year stretch and I can only hope that our
government could pay a little bit more attention to the medical needs of its
citizens, especially those with mental health issues. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">So, take life one day at a time, and don't get
caught out in the rain with your slippers off, Dorothy.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzGMC3oogjGlEXAu0T6p2gdXJiM2JKXaeDOyua7roPGuDCAB83z5OjZM6NRZ6q-2VgIN8tjJqxNa_Jpvb0bWxLd96Qy20eTA5heMA4TeanVO0V-emMZGSpZOfK2MiqpbV54uftDN4y-jg/s1600/stock-photo-cheese-cartoon-character-96192830.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzGMC3oogjGlEXAu0T6p2gdXJiM2JKXaeDOyua7roPGuDCAB83z5OjZM6NRZ6q-2VgIN8tjJqxNa_Jpvb0bWxLd96Qy20eTA5heMA4TeanVO0V-emMZGSpZOfK2MiqpbV54uftDN4y-jg/s320/stock-photo-cheese-cartoon-character-96192830.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-33489486193088397092013-10-15T18:57:00.002-07:002013-10-15T18:57:30.138-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #30)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">THE HOBO
HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK </span></b></b></div>
<b>
</b><br />
<b>
</b>
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<b><b><b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010 </span><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"> </span></b></b></b></b></div>
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<b> </b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"> CHAPTER
THREE</span></b></div>
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</span></b></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">PERSONALITIES
OF THE HOMELESS </span></u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">(Continued)</span><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><br /></span></u></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">STINKY</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> Now, some conditions just plum don’t have to
exist. The fact that they do only serves to underscore the apathy, and utter
lack of competence on the part of bureaucratic government institutions in their
care of the mentally ill. Such is the case with "Stinky." Quite
simply, her name is "Stinky" because she stinks from here to high
heaven. Trust me, you don’t want to smell her.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Of course, she didn't start out this way. When
she first was turned out and onto the streets, she parked herself on the side
of the New York Public Library, set up a few boxes and just went
hardcore. "Stinky" has not moved from that location since the
time of my writing this memoir. You know that you've walked past her because
you're immediately assailed with a most indescribable odor. Keeping your
distance is for your personal protection. Well, "Stinky" hasn't taken
a shower in a month of days. She hasn't changed her clothing either, which have
turned into virtual rags. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">However, there is hope! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">"Stinky" can be readily seen with a
book, reading to her poor heart's content. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She
never panhandles, or bothers any passersby,
but is always seen eating a fresh plastic container of hot food and
drinking an
occasional coffee. Ok, so she talks to herself, but wouldn't you if you
were
"Stinky," and had no one else to dialogue with? The art of being
odoriferous leads to being quite alone, as I have warned you about
earlier in the
memoir. But "Stinky" seems not to mind and is making due the best she
can. You know, if you start hearing voices when no one's around, or you
start seeing
Jesus Christ, or Buddha, for that matter, go seek medical attention. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">No seriously. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">If you don't, there's a good chance
you might find yourself sitting in your own cardboard box, alongside
"Stinky," reading a paperback novel…upside down. The world can be a
cruel place to do a seventy or eighty year stretch and I can only hope that our
government could pay a little bit more attention to the medical needs of its
citizens, especially those with mental health issues. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">So, take life one day at a time, and don't get
caught out in the rain with your slippers off, Dorothy.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzGMC3oogjGlEXAu0T6p2gdXJiM2JKXaeDOyua7roPGuDCAB83z5OjZM6NRZ6q-2VgIN8tjJqxNa_Jpvb0bWxLd96Qy20eTA5heMA4TeanVO0V-emMZGSpZOfK2MiqpbV54uftDN4y-jg/s1600/stock-photo-cheese-cartoon-character-96192830.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzGMC3oogjGlEXAu0T6p2gdXJiM2JKXaeDOyua7roPGuDCAB83z5OjZM6NRZ6q-2VgIN8tjJqxNa_Jpvb0bWxLd96Qy20eTA5heMA4TeanVO0V-emMZGSpZOfK2MiqpbV54uftDN4y-jg/s320/stock-photo-cheese-cartoon-character-96192830.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-76386175519616200652013-10-13T16:59:00.002-07:002013-10-13T16:59:33.352-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #29)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">THE HOBO
HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK </span></b></b></div>
<b>
</b><br />
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<b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"> </span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010 </span><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><br /></span></b></span></b></b></div>
<b>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">CHAPTER
THREE</span></b></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">PERSONALITIES
OF THE HOMELESS </span></u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">(Continued)</span><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><br /></span></u></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">COCONUT</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> Sometimes a name doesn't fit a person to a tee. However,
when I say "Coconut," I’m implying that one has said their last
parting remarks to their sanity and proceeded to make peace with the darkness
of the mental void that follows afterward. Well, "Coconut" hasn't
really gone completely off her rockers yet. She's just, how does one say,
a little maladjusted when she takes too many hits off her crack pipe. That's
right, folks, I said her crack pipe. "Coconut" goes nuts-no pun
intended-when she wakes up the next morning after a big night out. Ranting and
raving, she looks around to make eye contact with any poor passerby, who might
be caught up by her crazy frolicking. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Look at her once, which isn’t hard to do with
all her blustering, and you have an enemy for the day, if not for life. That's
of course if you don't just keep on walking. "Coconut" will
throw a hissy fit, cursing and hollering at the top of her lungs at the
unfortunate chap that dared to look her way. Let’s just say she has a few adjustment
issues, which come to the fore after a night of partying. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“Coconut” sets up her camp underneath
convenient construction scaffolding, along Thirty-Second Street and Broadway.
In the daytime you can witness the remains of her personal
effects. There are raggedy and torn blankets and other discarded accessories,
along with a confusing amount of debris that comprised her campground the
previous night. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">On one occasion, when I happened to be walking
by her "camp" in the wee hours of the morning, I saw her, plain as day,
with her pants and underwear down around her ankles, in a low squat, taking a
piss down the sidewalk storm drain. Believe me it was not a pretty sight and is
a true measurement of the degree of her Skeksiness. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The moral of this story is, look! If you do
have a substance abuse situation, like crack and what not, try not to let it
get to the point where you have to become like "Coconut." Keep it on
the low, and reserve it for the weekends. If your wonderful habits do
cause you to lose your home and to land you on the street, you’re shit out of
luck, and no one’s going to really give a damn about it or put themselves out
to salvage you. At this point in life you’re a grown-ass-adult, and as the
saying goes, “if you make your bed hard, you got to lay on it.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">So don't lose the reigns of control over some “get
high.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Better yet: Leave the damned crack alone! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Remember this maxim: If finding a friend for
the day, or an enemy for the day, like “Coconut” attempts to do, can be a
difficult and lonely preoccupation on Main Street of your hometown, it’s going
to be a bitch to pull off in a city as vast as New York.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">And yes. I did just make the adage up, off the
cuff, myself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I never claimed to be a sage.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">(<b>To be continued...</b>) </span></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-7056012062619967262013-10-10T12:00:00.001-07:002013-10-10T12:00:38.369-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #28)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">THE HOBO
HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK </span></b></b></div>
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<b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010 </span><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"> </span></b></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">CHAPTER
THREE</span></b></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">PERSONALITIES
OF THE HOMELESS </span></u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">(Continued)</span><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><br /></span></u></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">SWINGS AT THE FENCES</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> is a gentleman. What else can I say? But
he has a peculiar predilection for swinging punches in the air out in public, at
an unseen adversary. So, to us unfortunate souls, who are not privy to the
goings on of the spirit world, he's "swinging at the fences." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Notwithstanding the fact that he's a Vietnam
Vet, who has gone through hell in the service of his country, "Swings at the
Fences" is a few French fries shy of a Happy Meal. He probably came home from
war as damaged goods.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Other than that, “Swings at the Fences” is
relatively harmless and when he's not wishing to be confined on the thirteenth
floor of the VA Hospital, in a one-size-fits-all jacket, you will see him
milling around on the streets talking to his invisible battle buddies. But when
he's not visiting the local VA and taking his meds, once more he's back into
the fray, swinging away at the air. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">So, if you have mental issues and find yourself
homeless, make sure you get yourself squared-away with a good medication
management. If your insurance policy ran out or dropped you, you can apply
for Public Assistance which will provide you with Medicare or Medicaid, if you
qualify. That way you can keep your prescriptions current. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Otherwise, there's the real possibility you might
wind up…swinging at the fences too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">FREAKS COME OUT AT NIGHT </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Way back in the days, there was a Rap group
called "Whodini," who came out with a hit song, "The
Freaks Come out at Night." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Remember that? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Well, I’m probably just succeeded in dating
myself. Anyway, guess what? In my travels in the world of the disenfranchised
I ran across-actually I use to sleep around him in the former
"Hotel"-a Rastafarian dude, who liked to get his drink on.
Being that he hailed from the Island of Jamaica, he also liked
to "blaze a tree," if you’ll pardon my parlance. For those of you who
are not familiar with the jargon, that is smoke a joint of marijuana. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">This combination of "get-high" would
elevate the poor chap to Biblical proportions. And once he got there, he liked
to perch himself upon a folding chair, right in the foyer outside the New York
Public Library, and sing aloud his favorite tune, "The Freaks Come
out at Night." This he would do with abandon, unencumbered by any
modicum of bashfulness; notwithstanding the fact that he could've used a few
singing lessons along the way. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Having said this much, there's not much more to
say about "Freaks Come Out," other than it would probably be a good
idea to get a job, that way he could support his weed habit and the beckoning urge
to feed his head. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Ok, so let me sum this up. If you're homeless and
know how to scare up enough money to buy your own "get-high," it's
not too far of a stretch of the imagination that you can probably scrap up
enough cash to eventually GET THE FUCK OF THE STREETS! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Or maybe I'm just barnstorming. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Nah.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">(<b>To be continued...</b>) </span></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-80754448005110801062013-10-10T10:26:00.001-07:002013-10-10T10:26:18.512-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #27)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 12pt 0.5in; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">THE HOBO
HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010 </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">CHAPTER
THREE</span></b></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">PERSONALITIES
OF THE HOMELESS </span></u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">(Continued)</span><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><br /></span></u></div>
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<br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">SITH LORD</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;"> is not only one of the most peculiar kind of
individual you're going to meet on the streets, but also one of the most
comical. The reason he's called "Sith Lord" is because he
resembles the character, Sith Lord, from the movie "Star Wars: The Phantom
Menace." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">Everybody can’t be Denzel Washington or Brad
Pitt. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">Now, "Sith Lord" carries two laptop
computers in his shoulder bag, and spends the entire day on the internet,
playing internet games and the like. He rides around on a decent sports bike and
works part-time as a bike messenger to pay for his computer gadgetry. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">He likes to hangout in Starbucks all day, after
purchasing only one cup of coffee, and hopes he goes unnoticed by the staff. Sometimes,
he gets a little bolder and simply stays all day in Starbucks, without the
perfunctory gesture of buying at least one obligatory cup of Joe. This is
always to the ire of the managers and employees. Unfortunately, after a
while they gather enough gumption to notify him that he's no longer wanted in
their establishment. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">But this doesn't leave “Sith Lord” daunted! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">For there is always the convenient Bryant Park,
which happened at the time of writing this memoir to have only one handy power
socket to plug his laptops into. Never mind the fact that those pesky park
security guards kept coming by and complaining to him about unlawfully stealing
the park's electricity. Eventually, and not surprisingly, he is driven away
from Bryant Park as well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">Now, he's really down and out. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">However, it is easy to see that all of
this could have been adroitly avoided. All of this sounds even more absurd
when you consider that he still has a home, with his mother in Queens, which he
periodically disappears to when the going gets too tough on the street. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">What we have here, is what I and Hobobob called
a "Shelt," a person who has a place provided by another, even though
most of the time it's by the State. This type of person is
semi-homeless. They have one foot at home, or in a shelter, and the other
foot in the street. It is probably more advantageous for him to either make
peace with Mother and return to his cozy place of dwelling permanently, or to
shake off the baby fat and go hard-core, and out in the street completely.
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">If you become homeless and dwell in such a
twilight condition as “Sith Lord,” then this is what I propose. That’s right! Grab
yourself by the seat of your pants, and jump with all fours into the
street. At least you won't have to suffer the back and forth meandering of
co-existing between two disparate worlds. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">And for Christ's sakes! If
you're going to go hardcore and really rough it in the streets, don't burn your
bridges by overextended your visit to fast food haunts, like Starbucks, and
McDonalds. And have a little couth when spending time in public places,
like Bryant Park. It'll go a long ways, and you never know when you're going to
need to seek asylum at these locations again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">Enough said.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;"><b>(To be continued...)</b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXKTwEVghV5UFM_UmNr6eqUB7tsnB5hKsrZCMrCHZEv_vfV_T2-qJQSP51Tw6JgYDCtm6w6z7wD_strcz9xA2aFrkSsBfEQlcPpHyS2eYepPSYMmBqsEjf4RUQ83up_M7aj7ETaDv3xRc/s1600/Sith_Lord_in_Partial_armor_by_Torelvorn.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXKTwEVghV5UFM_UmNr6eqUB7tsnB5hKsrZCMrCHZEv_vfV_T2-qJQSP51Tw6JgYDCtm6w6z7wD_strcz9xA2aFrkSsBfEQlcPpHyS2eYepPSYMmBqsEjf4RUQ83up_M7aj7ETaDv3xRc/s320/Sith_Lord_in_Partial_armor_by_Torelvorn.jpg" width="236" /></a></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-12445050396447606742013-10-08T12:11:00.002-07:002013-10-08T12:11:38.262-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #26)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 12pt 0.5in; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">THE HOBO
HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK </span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010 </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"> CHAPTER
THREE</span></b></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">PERSONALITIES
OF THE HOMELESS</span></u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"> (Continued)</span><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><br /></span></u></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">FRANK AND BEANS</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;"> is an example of a man who managed to pull
himself up by his own bootstraps. The reason I call him "Frank and
Beans" is because his name is Frank. That's all. I wish I could
provide you with some more clever reason, or profound history associated with
his name, but I can’t. So, there it is. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">Anyway, when I first met "Frank
and Beans" he was an ex-convict, who found himself homeless. But
"Frank and Beans" was determined to make something out of his life.
He enrolled into a technical school after getting public assistance,
studied computer networking, and actually graduated. He rolled his sleeves
up, and went out searching for and landed a decent job in a respectable company.
He even got himself a modest apartment, for he and his wife, through section 8.
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">What "Frank and
Beans" demonstrates, is that anyone can change their circumstance,
regardless of what their life is like, if they put forth their best effort. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">Good luck "Frank and Beans." You’re a
true inspiration and I salute you!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">NINJA</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;"> is a perfect example of a person who's lost all
sense of corporeality. This kind of rodeo clown judges the world by his own
selfish set of rules, and attempts to punish the world with the same.
"Ninja" is the kind of homeless person that is so full of self-vituperation that
he manages to shoot himself in the foot, to spite his sneakers. "Ninja”
gets thrown out of almost every soup kitchen he shows up to. Now, this is
not a prudent thing, when you consider that one needs to have access to as many
soup kitchens as possible, so one doesn't starve to death. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">But No! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">"Ninja" insists on stirring a tempest
in a teapot at every soup kitchen and church his dark shadow falls upon. So,
in response to this kind of habitual behavior, the homeless have formed cliques
to oust him from their eating establishments. Some have even gone as far
as making plans to catch him outside unawares, and throw him a good
beating. You see where all this is going, don't you? As a result, I see
"Ninja" less and less each week. Maybe it's for the better, for us
all. Now, the rest of the homeless and “Skeksies” can eat in relative peace,
without having to result to clobbering somebody on an empty stomach. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">To avoid falling into the trap of becoming a
"Ninja," try to be as amicable as possible, with the fellow
homeless people you're going to share a meal table. As the saying
goes, “You can catch more bees with honey.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">"Ninja,” may the road rise to meet you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">When you fall on your face.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;"><b>(To be continued...)</b></span></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-7191149527298638772013-10-07T18:08:00.001-07:002013-10-07T18:08:43.664-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #26)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 12pt 0.5in; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">THE HOBO
HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK </span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"> </span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">CHAPTER
THREE</span></b></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">PERSONALITIES
OF THE HOMELESS</span></u></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: 12pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">“Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in
the room.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: 12pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">-Sir Winston Churchill</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">British politician (1874 - 1965)</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: SimSun; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: SimSun; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">A personality is a behavior that makes up who and what
we are. Arrogant people get one label, and humble people get another. This is a
truism in life as in the homeless world, as well. I’ve seen pretty much of it
all, from the certifiable nut, the outlandish freak, to the downright hapless
fool. There exists the whole gamut of individuals out here. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">It’s too easy for you to become like one of them, or a
melding of two or three of these motley characters, if you don’t keep your eyes
on the road and your hands upon the wheel, trooper. Here, following, is a
category of the people that I have encountered. Some of them you might find
hilarious, some you might view to be downright tragic. It definitely served as
a warning to me to keep a constant vigil on myself, so I wouldn’t emulate any
one of these characters. If you find yourself homeless, you ought to do the
same. Because if you don’t snap out of it right quick, you might find yourself traveling
down that long, slippery, slide into madness, precious.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">SCURVY</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;"> This kind of nincompoop is living in two
diametrically opposed worlds; the world of a working-class
citizen and the absurd world of the homeless. Taken from an
actual homeless man, "Scurvy" earned his name because of the way he
speaks, and the crazy, drunken antics he performs in public while under
the influence of alcohol. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">You’ll find “Scurvy” singing out loud, and
cavorting himself around as a craze, out of control, sailor, ranting and raving
in front of the rush-hour crowd at Penn Station. This type of homeless person
is an attention seeker, and will go to any lengths to get it. Sometimes he will
act up just for someone to simply look his way and to recognize that he
exists. Being thrust out of the wheel of life, and into the streets can
offer a great challenge to one's self-esteem and mental tenacity. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">The remedy for this kind of melancholy drift
into the abyss of insanity is to find a "friend," anyone you can talk
to, to bounce yourself and your ideas off. Cavorting with a companion can
aide in keeping one’s mental veracity sharp, and help in keeping you grounded
in reality. This is a sure way to verify that you don’t go over the deep end, and
wind up like "Scurvy."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;"><b>(To be continued...)</b></span></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-2772731604089652292013-10-04T10:02:00.001-07:002013-10-04T10:02:04.591-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #25)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 12pt 0.5in; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">THE HOBO HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"> </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt;"> By Daniel Canada c.2010</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">CHAPTER THREE<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">PERSONALITIES OF THE HOMELESS<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 38px;">“Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 38px;">-Sir Winston Churchill<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">British politician (1874 - 1965)</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: SimSun; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: SimSun; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">A personality is a behavior that makes up who and what we are. Arrogant people get one label, and humble people get another. This is a truism in life as in the homeless world, as well. I’ve seen pretty much of it all, from the certifiable nut, the outlandish freak, to the downright hapless fool. There exists the whole gamut of individuals out here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">It’s too easy for you to become like one of them, or a melding of two or three of these motley characters, if you don’t keep your eyes on the road and your hands upon the wheel, trooper. Here, following, is a category of the people that I have encountered. Some of them you might find hilarious, some you might view to be downright tragic. It definitely served as a warning to me to keep a constant vigil on myself, so I wouldn’t emulate any one of these characters. If you find yourself homeless, you ought to do the same. Because if you don’t snap out of it right quick, you might find yourself traveling down that long, slippery, slide into madness, precious.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">SCURVY</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;"> This kind of nincompoop is living in two diametrically opposed worlds; the world of a working-class citizen and the absurd world of the homeless. Taken from an actual homeless man, "Scurvy" earned his name because of the way he speaks, and the crazy, drunken antics he performs in public while under the influence of alcohol.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">You’ll find “Scurvy” singing out loud, and cavorting himself around as a craze, out of control, sailor, ranting and raving in front of the rush-hour crowd at Penn Station. This type of homeless person is an attention seeker, and will go to any lengths to get it. Sometimes he will act up just for someone to simply look his way and to recognize that he exists. Being thrust out of the wheel of life, and into the streets can offer a great challenge to one's self-esteem and mental tenacity. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">The remedy for this kind of melancholy drift into the abyss of insanity is to find a "friend," anyone you can talk to, to bounce yourself and your ideas off. Cavorting with a companion can aide in keeping one’s mental veracity sharp, and help in keeping you grounded in reality. This is a sure way to verify that you don’t go over the deep end, and wind up like "Scurvy."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;"><b>(To be continued...)</b></span></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-818819290677350192013-09-30T18:24:00.001-07:002013-09-30T18:24:11.946-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #24)<br />
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<b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;">THE HOBO
HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK </span></b></b></div>
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<b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010 </span></b></span></b></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
<b>
THE BEGGARS (Continued)</b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Now, after I've
finished lambasting the homeless sham artist, I am burdened at last with the
overwhelming need to vent a personal vituperation against a small group of the
homeless that I've ran into along my travails...I meant travels. These guys and
gals are not as insidious as the ones I've taken pain to "out," as the
saying goes, to expose for the frauds they are. This next group is simply, how
does one say? An eclectic lot among the undomiciled. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">These are the homeless vegetarians.</span>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">HOMELESS
VEGETARIANS</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Yes. I had to go there. But I'll make it brief and as painless as
possible. The reason I had to touch on this topic is that I was astonished to
find such a thing actually existed out here. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Here's
the scenario. I'm in a church, on a soup line. Everyone steps up to get
a hot plate of whatever they're serving. The line suddenly comes to an
abrupt halt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some homeless person is
fussing with one of the volunteer servers over the contents of his plate.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“I said I don't eat meat. I'm a vegetarian!” he complains, as if there
was some hidden conspiracy to sneak meat onto his plate. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“Well then, you're going to have to step aside, so we can prepare a
special vegetarian plate for you.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The homeless vegetarian finally steps aside to allow the rest of the waiting,
hungry folks to move forward on the line. “And make sure they don't mix any
scraps of meat into my food. You know I can't eat any meat!” he sternly warns
the patient volunteer server, while waiting on the side of the line.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The server takes a good look at him. “You know all we have is some
white rice and string beans. But I can give you an extra helping of that, if
you want.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The homeless vegetarian frowns, as if he's being giving the short stick
out of a draw on Gilligan's Island. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">What? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Wait a minute! Something's out of place with this entire business here!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">This is the streets, and you're in a bloody-excuse the French-church
soup kitchen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Special orders are for
five-star restaurants, like Tavern on the Green, buddy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you're out here, you have to eat what
you're given. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Besides, what's up with the lack of gratitude?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Being on a vegetarian diet is difficult for working-class people to
afford. For a homeless person to expect to be served steamy dishes of vegetable
delight everyday on a church soup line is all together unreasonable.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The local Hare Krishna temple serves vegetarian diners on Wednesday
nights, sunshine. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">So be there.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Homeless vegetarians, on your mark...Get set...Go!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><b>(To be continued...) </b></span></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-31159893606805502432013-09-26T18:13:00.001-07:002013-09-27T07:20:26.519-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #23)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 12pt 0.5in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><strong>THE HOBO HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK <o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><o:p><strong> </strong></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010 <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<strong>THE</strong> <strong>COLLEGE KIDS (Continued)</strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"></span></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"></span></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"></span>Enough said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">All of us has had the occasion to be confronted with the decision to give up a portion of our hard-earned money to the street beggar. And many a sympathetic person has had to wrestle with their consciences, as whether to appropriate a few shekels to the outstretched hands of these most pitiable souls. However, I'm going to peel the veneer away from this type of individual, and expose the truth about the common beggar.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I might have to watch my back on the streets after this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">THE BEGGARS<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">After demonstrating how impossible it is for a homeless person to go hungry in any giving city, with all the abundant soup kitchens, courtesy of the selfless churches, synagogues, along with the begrudged run-of-the-mill, government grub establishments, all I have to say about the beggars is it's now obvious they are all full of shit. I like the beggars who post signs requesting money to purchase more beer. They're true to the game and are shooting from the hip. And believe it or not they have regular customers who give them donations anyway. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I reckon fellow drinkers, heading on their merry way to their favorite watering holes after work, understand what it's like to be thirty and need a drink or two, once in a while. As well-wishers, who have a few extra bucks to throw away at their favorite bars, they can afford to drop a couple of lettuce into this type of beggar's cup.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The rest of the hockey-pucks out there, hoisting cardboard signs about being hungry, stranded out of town, and what not, ought to get Tony Awards simply for mastering the art of bullshitting, or MBAs for selling the biggest hoax ever perpetrated upon hard-working Americans.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Next time you see a homeless beggar, give him a ham sandwich or a bagel instead, and see what he does with it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Be sure to check the nearest garbage can later in the day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><strong>(To be continued...)</strong></span></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-11456346239578424062013-09-24T15:07:00.001-07:002013-09-25T07:30:37.541-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #22)<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><strong>THE HOBO HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK <o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><o:p><strong> </strong></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010 <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<strong>THE</strong> <strong>COLLEGE KIDS (Continued)</strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">O.k. So here's how I suppose it went down. After making the formal request to be initiated into Alfred E. Neuman Phi Fraternal House in F. U., they are told to meet up at a certain place and time. They are sternly warned not to reveal this information to anyone else, or they'll be hung upside down by their toenails. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">They show up. A van with dark windows pulls to the curb, and out charges three hooded, overly zealous, pubescent, fraternal brothers or sisters, who grab a halt of them, shove them into the van, make them change their school clothes for a pair of worn-out, homeless, "Skeksy"-looking gear. They tell them that if they want to enjoy the rights and privileges of the fraternity, then they must submit to the harsh ritual of "slumming it" as homeless people, all day for several days, and that they will be promptly picked up by the same van and in the same location at mid-night. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">So, there you have it! If you take the time to notice you too will see their kind, squatting around with cardboard boxes, all throughout the Midtown areas. To the average person, all homeless people are the same. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">But not to us! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">We have eyes that can truly see. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">One night I'm going to drum up the nerve to case these kids out, and I bet you-say a quarter, since that's something I can afford to lose-that at midnight a dark, mysterious van's going to pull up. Several hooded adolescent kids will pour out of the partially opened door, and whisk the other kids away, back to the warmth and safety of the college dorms. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I wonder what happened to the days, when fraternities use to parade their candidates down the street with ropes around their necks, hazing them along the way, like making them pick up cigarette butts from the sidewalk, and what not? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Ah! The good old days! <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">If you ain't homeless and on your ass out in the street, stop shamming! It's hard enough getting the average working-class person to comprehend the complexities that brought millions of once productive citizens to their knees, and out in a world sans the comfort of a home. It's tough enough to get others to understand how difficult it is to survive out in this wild concrete jungle, without a pot to piss in and a window to throw it out of. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Don't complicate matters, in the name of a science project, or university sponsored study. On the other hand, if you guys really belong to a college fraternity, I submit that you speak to the Grand Poobah, or whoever's in charge, and suggest going back to the old rope and collecting cigarette butts, hazing ritual. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">That way people can separate the homeless from the student.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><strong>(To be continued...)</strong></span></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-80766766194753391492013-09-23T12:55:00.001-07:002013-09-23T12:55:29.410-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #21)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 12pt 0.5in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">THE HOBO HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010 <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">If you're taking up psychology, if you're taking up political science, fine. I don't give a hoot in hell if you're just meandering about in the dorms of the universities, studying liberal arts and don't have a fucking clue what in the hell you want to do for the next semester, or the rest of your life. But don't get the notion that you're so goddamned smart that you can outsmart a homeless person about being homeless. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Ah! You know what I'm talking about? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I’m talking about you college kids I see hanging around on street corners, sitting on the ground with cardboard signs, saying "I'm broke, and homeless, and need a few dollars to eat." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Yeah, that shit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">As I walk down the streets of Fifth Avenue, or anywhere in the Mid-Town area of Manhattan, and run into these youngsters, I have to shake my head in disbelief. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Where the Christ do they come from? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Ok. I’m going to let you in on a little homeless secret. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Most homeless people know each other. We're part of an unknown, underground "community." We eat at the same places, use the same public facilities, shower at the same places, and yes, sleep generally in the same areas. So homeless people in Manhattan , or the Bronx , or where ever they live, see each other all the time. Once in a while we'll even exchange pleasantries, or curse words, or just flip each other the bird in passing. But if we threw a stick in a crowd of homeless people, chances are the average “Skek” probably could name ninety-five percent of the ones the damned stick hit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">So, once again the question. Who in God's earth are these middle-class, suburban looking youngsters, fronting about on the sidewalks like they're homeless, and down and out? <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Where the hell do they come from? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">College, of course. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">They're college students, engaging in some kind of undercover college study. Perhaps it's about homeless life in America, or demographics. I can't wait to see their thesis when it comes out! I hope they got all their facts straight, and they're gearing up to become lobbyist, to pressure congress to appropriate more funding for the homeless in America. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Somehow, I just don't think that this is the case. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Racking my brain on this strange phenomenon, I was forced to entertain the thought that what I'm looking at is really not what I'm looking at. Let me explain my conjecture. If what I’m witnessing is not some new wave of middle-class, suburban, college kids, "slumming it out," to gather real-life facts about living out on the streets, then perhaps they are members of a secret fraternity. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">That's right, a fra-ter-nity, for those of you who might be aghast at this declaration. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Maybe all this sitting in the back of cardboard boxes with handwritten signs, supplicating passersby for money, wearing less-than-persuasive cheap swag, and looking all down and out, is just part of a fraternity initiation process. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">You know, a couple of college kids succumb to peer pressure. They want to be popular and to get laid. So they join the local college fraternity. Be it Alpha, Beta, or Sigmund Freudian Phi, most colleges have a fraternity and plenty of young men and women want to have the prestige of belonging to such a fraternal order. So they line up in mass to get their asses branded. It looks really cool at parties, and once again, it gets you laid.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><strong>(To be continued...)</strong></span></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-9727958902543920002013-09-22T09:06:00.001-07:002013-09-22T09:06:30.389-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #20)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 12pt 0.5in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><strong>THE HOBO HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK <o:p></o:p></strong></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><o:p><strong> </strong></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010 <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<strong>THE</strong> <strong>SKEL(SIE)<o:p></o:p></strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“Skelsie” is a combination of the two words, “Skeksis” and “Skell.” Firstly, I need to explain what a “Skell” is. "Skell" is an abbreviation for skeleton, and is a terminology used by most police officers when referring to a homeless person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Like a lifeless skeleton, with no hope of returning to the world of the living, they have come to view all homeless to be nothing more than mere skeletons. When you don a skeleton custom for Halloween, you're a “skeleton” for a night. The homeless are “skeletons” for life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Now, a “Skelsie” or “Skelsy” is a "Skeksis"-or "Skeksy," as I like to spell it-that has become one of the living dead, a virtual zombie. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Are you confused enough yet? I hope not.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Nevertheless, they are considered to be the soulless ones, who may not even know they exist anymore than a person in a vegetative state, on a respirator.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Besides the fact that they have long-since given up on the upkeep of their bodies, they have very little communication with the outside world. You might see them in a rush hour crowd, starring off into space or holding a vigorous conversation with themselves. Their ship has lifted anchor and sailed away into the azure horizons many moons ago, friends. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">This is what I mean by a "Skelsie." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Even the police leave them alone. And if they have to respond to some irritated neighbor's call, complaining about some crazed man or woman being a blatherskite at two o'clock in the morning, the police call an ambulance to take them to Bellevue Hospital or the nearest hospital that has a psyche ward. The polite police officers refer to these as EDPs, emotional disturbed persons. They really don't care to have any further dealings with them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The “Skelsie” stands alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Now, I would like to further illuminate upon an otherwise, hither-to-unknown, homeless phenomenon. One that, would it not be for my drawing attention to it, would go unnoticed among the pantheon of homeless folks you pass on any given day of the week. It's a strange, eclectic group of homeless folks I dubbed "The College Kids." Even you will have difficulty wrapping your brain around this one.</span></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-55326952283347589242013-09-18T13:51:00.001-07:002013-09-18T13:51:54.659-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #19)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 12pt 0.5in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><strong>THE HOBO HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK <o:p></o:p></strong></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010 <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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(Continued)</div>
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<strong>THE</strong> <strong>SKEKSIS(SIE) <o:p></o:p></strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">As you can see by the above title, the correct spellings are as such. However, I like to rearrange the spelling of words, thus my spelling of “Skeksy,” or “Skeksies” for the plural. There's also the word “Skek,” which is the abbreviated form of “Skeksy.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">So much for that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">In reality, the word “Skeksis” comes from a Walt Disney Movie, entitled “The Dark Crystal.” In this great puppeteer work by the late Jim Henson, there was a bunch of evil buzzards, who ruled the land with a despotic iron hand-or should I say claw. Anyway, these buzzards called “Skeksis” were the epitome of uncouth and gross behavior. When they ate at the dinner table, they squabbled over pieces of meat. Food would daggle from their mouths as they partook of their victuals. They were filthy and unkempt. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">What else can you expect from buzzards?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Unfortunately, a good portion of the homeless population fit this description too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That's why I refer to them as “Skeksies.” Watching a "Skeksy" eat is enough to convince you that humans really don't need to eat food in order survive. It will certainly turn your stomach upside down and completely ruin your appetite. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I still haven’t figured out why it's necessary for "Skeksies" to leave food particles around their mouths when eating. Are their lips magnetic? Dining at the table with "Skeksies" is a hard ordeal. They talk with mouths full of food, and with foodstuff falling out of their maws. They throw food on the floor when a garbage can is within handy reach. They just don’t give a good-flying-Dutchman's fuck about anything they do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">"Skeksies" don’t bother to wash or change their clothing either. They seem as if they want to be left alone. You can spot a "Skeksy" coming down the block from a good distance too. No one else on the surface of the planet walks like them. They have the walk of the preternatural, of the living dead. It's as if some body part on them has failed, and they have to get along the best they can without it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I’ve often wondered why they hobble from side-to-side, like a metronome when walking. And then one day I realized what it was. Before they became homeless, they were use to walking about the street with a cool, ditty-bop, but now after being out here on the street so long, sleeping on the hard concrete and what not, their ditty-bop got broken down. Now, all that's left is an awkward wobble. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Even their speech has deteriorated into guttural groans and indecipherable grunts. Neanderthal sounds have replaced what was once their diction. It's impossible to describe it in words, but once you've experienced a "Skek" and heard them speak, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">What more can one say about a "Skeksy," other than they are considered, even by homeless people, to be the lowest of humankind. This poses a challenge to Darwinian Evolution. Humankind is supposed to have evolved from a primitive state to what we are now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The "Skeksy" has apparently devolved back to the primitive. Before long, they will be swinging from trees in Central Park. I learned something vital, in which I would like to share with you. Whatever you do, during your time spent on the streets, do not fail to give constant attention to your person. As the saying goes, "check yourself, before you wreck yourself." Then you won't lose respect for yourself, and not be able to correct yourself, and have to reject yourself. O.k. I'm sure you get the point of where I'm proceeding with this logic. Bottom line is, you don't want to end up being a "Skeksy, just because you're homeless."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Life is hard enough for an undomiciled person. Elevating oneself back to the level one has taken a tumble from is a real challenge, but there's still hope. However, once you've descended to the level of a "Skeksy," chances are you might not be able to return to the place from whence you've come. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Aside from this, there is another group that I've run into out here, that is definitely on the long slide to the point of no return. This is what I call the "Skelsie." Just from the name of it, I'm sure you can tell it's not going to be pleasant discussing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><strong>(To be Continued...)</strong></span></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-10199798118207803142013-09-17T07:29:00.000-07:002013-09-17T07:29:49.802-07:00A Message from the Author Concerning Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Message From the Author:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I'd like to pause from posting and just take out the time to thank all of my readers on Face Book & my subsequent blog sites, for your support; <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>your reading and commenting on my Face Book site & blog site, concerning the "Hobo Handbook: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York." I'd certainly greatly appreciate your words and suggestions. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Firstly, I like to apologize for several typographical errors that I discovered upon reviewing my own works.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These misspellings have crept up a number of times, and are insidious little bastards, in that they can undermine the seriousness (or humor) of the text. Once again, I apologize for these, and shall do my best to be more diligent in catching and righting these matters. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lovingly, not one of you have ever remarked upon this-because you all are so fantastic. Nevertheless, I like to also announce to one of my faithful readers, whose name I'll leave anonymous, that I will do my utmost to make each excerpts a little longer than the snippets I've been providing in the past. I'm thrilled to know that you enjoy them that much.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Once again, I want to thank you all for your commitment to following the posted excerpts of my yet-to-be-published, "Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York." With that I shall return back to posting.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">-Sincerely yours & always indebted to you all, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Daniel<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Canada<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a.k.a<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Obsidian</b></span></div>
ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071560718743577549.post-55459121491750296272013-09-15T08:38:00.002-07:002013-09-15T08:42:06.593-07:00Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #18)<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 12pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><strong>THE HOBO HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK <o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><o:p><strong> </strong></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By Daniel Canada c.2010 <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>THE</strong> <strong>SHELT (Continued)<o:p></o:p></strong></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">What’s really the rub is that a "Shelt" doesn’t have to do any of these things at all. If they live in any of the government shelters throughout the city or state, food is served in these institutions three times a day. What is more, these shelters have to follow a regimented dietary code. Most Shelts are recipients of welfare, and welfare provides them upwards of two hundred dollars for food, and two hundred dollars cash for expenses, every month.</span> <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Most government funded and run SROs also serves three square meals a day-for free. So, there’s no reason on God’s earth a "Shelt" has to be standing on a goddamned soup line, humming for grub!<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">I suppose they just want to.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Why? Because they’re a bunch of greedy, gratuitous, grubbing, bastards. That's all.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Sorry folks. I wish I had something better to say.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">THE HOMELESS STREETER<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Now these guys and gals are the real deal!<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">They’ve gone hardcore, and said so long to the world and all its trappings a long time ago. They don’t rely upon the government or any would-be sympathizers for a goddamned thing. The way of survival on the heartless streets has become the Tao te Ching for them. Subsequently, they, just like the Toa te Ching, have become nameless and formless and can conform to any type of hardship life tosses at them just for shits and giggles.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">They’ve mastered the art of building "hotels" out of cardboard boxes, to rest their heads for the night. They’ve become proficient in the art of the glom. Some of them even earn a modest income as canners, people who you see collecting the cans and bottles you happily throw away. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">They are totally self-sufficient, and will rise out of the ashes of a nuclear holocaust, to dust themselves off-along with the cockroaches-and get about their business, before they were rudely interrupted by that pesky atomic blast.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">YOU have to worry about the confluences and mercurial nature of the stock market, and Wall Street’s quarterly reports. YOU have to suffer the plague of lost sleep, because of the whims of a recalcitrant and overbearing boss. But not the "Homeless Streeter." The "Homeless Streeter" has long since divorced themselves from these concerns. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Sleep tight "Homeless Streeter." Trust in the Lord, but keep your shopping carts tied down.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><strong></strong></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><strong>(To be Continued...)</strong></span></div>
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ObsidianTheMysticTakesNewYorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04971659140895300469noreply@blogger.com0